How to Use Escort Services
A Men's Guide

by Marc Perkel

This page contains material of an adult sexual nature.

Escort Etiquette - What you need to know to relate to Escorts

There are a lot of things they don't teach you in school, and one of them is how to use an escort service. Somehow society seems to think that men should just know how to do this. Why they make this assumption is beyond me. The truth is that most guys don't have a clue about what to do in this situation, so I'm going to tell you what I've learned -- and what the pros have taught me. By the way, I Ran for Congress and I Ran for United States Senate and supporting the legalization of Prostitution.

Hiring a sex professional is the same as hiring any other professional, like a doctor, lawyer, or auto mechanic. You pay them money for a service. It doesn't matter what the service is: if you're nice to the professional, you generally get a better result than if you aren't. I treat sex professionals the same way I treat other professionals I hire. And like other professionals in my life, these women treat me as a valued customer and may even become friends of mine. They look forward to seeing me again, the same way any other professional likes to see their good clients come around.

So let's start at the beginning. Maybe you've never called an escort service before, or maybe you have but didn't have a good time. What I hope to do here is give you a step by step guidebook, telling you exactly what to do so that you can get the most out of your escort experience.

Disclaimer

Prostitution is generally illegal. I have written a Legal Brief arguing that Escort Services are not prostitution businesses. The government and uptight moralistic religious and political nut cases and man hating lesbians who think prostitution is some form of male domination over women have created laws to put you in jail for selling sex or buying sexual services. You can give it away for free, but you can't sell it. Therefore, everything I say here is fiction and is for your entertainment and amusement only. If you are under 18, I apologize for the world we are leaving you. If you read this, you are instructed to forget everything as soon as you're done.

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Why Use an Escort Service?

Escort services offer a variety of companionship, from just someone to talk with to someone to have sex with. The women who work for these agencies make a living at their jobs just like women who have other jobs do. So, yes, they are doing it for the money. But that's just their occupation. When you hire a mechanic to fix your car, the mechanic is doing it for the money too. It's the same thing. Your mechanic may be your friend as well and he may enjoy working on your car because you're a good customer. The same kind of relationship can be established with your escort. If you become a "regular," you will get to know each other and know what you like to do together -- and you will enjoy it more.

Like any other profession most of the women who work as escorts enjoy their work. Although the situation varies from individual to individual - and from client to client - there are a lot of women who do this because they really like the sex. But some customers are better than others and this article will help instruct you in how to be a good customer who escort look forward to being with. And you don't have to be great looking or in good shape to please an escort. All you have to do is know how to treat a woman right. Hopefully you will learn from this web page exactly how to do that.

Paying for a relationship doesn't mean you're some kind of loser. There are a number of advantages that are worth considering.



A lot of men have a real mental barrier about having to "pay for it." This is an artificial barrier because there's nothing wrong with paying for sex -- and there are a lot of advantages to doing so. Paying for it doesn't make you any less of a man. In fact, if you've never tried escorts before, you'll find that the experience is probably different than what you've been led to think it is. And when you realize how it really works, you'll look at it in a very different light.

Free sex isn't really free. In order to get a woman to have free sex with you, you have to find someone who is attracted to you and wants to have sex with you. For most of us, this takes a lot of work.

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If you go after a one night stand, then you're having sex with a stranger, just as you would with an escort. The woman you pick up for a one night stand is not really fucking you. She's just horny and you're just a penis provider. If you want to keep fucking her, then you're going to have to develop some kind of relationship with her.

If you start a relationship, you run into one of the biggest problems with free sex: You both have to want it at the same time. You can't just get it when you want it. And then you have to deal with "where is this relationship going," and how you feel about monogamy and marriage (Which I call "doing the "M" word"). Then there's the question of dealing with her friends, her family, her lawyer, her religion, her spending habits, her television preferences, her moods, her shrink, her astrologer, her dealing with your friends and family, and trying to adjust to each other's grooming habits, musical tastes, money, property, children, pets, ex-lovers, jealousy, anger, bullshit ... all this when all you really wanted was just to get laid.

Escorts are helpful in recovering after divorce or other form of personal emotional loss. You can tell escorts personal secrets that you'd never tell your closest friends.

Maybe your looking for a permanent relationship. You're lonely as hell and you want that special someone to settle down with so you can have kids and live happily ever after. The problem is that you haven't gotten laid in so long that when you go out on a date you can't control yourself and you come on too quick. This messes things up and you get rejected and you're just that much more love-starved and depressed the next time. An escort can help break the cycle of rejection. You get laid a few times, feel better about yourself, and when you go out on a date you don't feel you have to get laid. You can take the time to let the relationship develop and have a better chance of finding "true love" than if you weren't seeing and escort. And you may have learned a few tricks in the mean time that make you a better lover and contribute to the relationship.

When you're with an escort, you're going to get laid. You don't have to worry about "if" because that's not an issue anymore. You don't have to deal with all the other bullshit because that's not part of the package. And being with an escort doesn't mean that you have to give up free sex or pursuing a relationship. In fact, being with an escort may enhance your life so much that you get more free sex, have better sex, and are so attractive to women that you will find your one true love, if that's what you're looking for.

Many escorts have learned and can teach you advanced sexual techniques. They are open to answering questions about women that most people won't discuss. Escorts can help you sharpen your sexual skills.

Once you get over the "paying for it" barrier, you'll realize that it's really a bargain. What you get is good sex with a woman who generally is a lot better at it than the average "civilian" woman, without the cost and complications of free sex. These women have been with a lot of men and they know things about sex that you can learn. If you talk to most pros, they'll tell you that the average guy doesn't have a clue about what women want. And if you're willing to put some ego aside and learn, these women can teach you things that will impress the hell out of civilian women. So being with an escort is a great opportunity to sharpen your style.

Maybe you just got divorced or dumped and you're hurting and need someone to be with. Being with an escort is a great way to recover from a lost relationship. No, it isn't the same as "true love," but it can make you feel a lot better about yourself and help build back your confidence so that you're functional and attractive to women again. Women like men who are confident and they are repulsed by men who are sexually needy. That's why when you need to get laid the most, women don't want to be with you. And that's where escort services play an important role in society. They help men who need to get laid, get laid. And these men are far better for it.

I don't know if my therapist really likes me of if he's just pretending to like me because I'm giving him money.

Convenience is another big advantage with escorts. When I want to get laid, I want it now. With escorts I can make a phone call and be having sex in about an hour with my choice from a variety of different women. I can actually pick a woman who suits my mood. You can't do that in a relationship.

There are a lot of men who have been through the divorce courts who still want to have sex without giving everything they own to lawyers. Escorts offer a lawyer free alternative to a traditional relationship.

Let me explain about "variety." This isn't just a matter of what the women look like. It's about personality and style. Sometimes I choose an escort who will give me slow, romantic sex with plenty of kissing, sweet talk, and affection. But sometimes I like hot, erotic, animal instinct sex and another escort is better at that. Sometimes I'm in the mood for someone who is just pretty. Sometimes I want good conversation and sometimes I want no conversation. Different women for different moods -- and escorts provide this option.

To have sex when you want it, with whom you want it, and where you want it is well worth paying for. It's just like ordering pizza delivered. You're paying extra for convenience and service.

Exactly What is an Escort Service?

Movies and television depict prostitutes in a few limited and unrealistic ways, mostly to the detriment of the women. There's the drug-addicted street walker standing on a dark and dangerous corner with a black pimp who beats her hiding in the shadows. Then there's the whore who inhabits a giant Victorian brothel where a guy plays piano in the parlor and the women are slaves to an obese madame and secretly hate their work and their customers. In all the television I've watched, the only TV show that seemed to come closest to accurately depicting the relationship between and escort and her client was the TV series DALLAS where J.R. Ewing had this ongoing relationship with a woman named "Sabrina" that came in and out of his life over the years the show was on the air.

Escorts are women just like any other woman. The nicer you are to them, the better time you both have. Escorts give men the opportunity to practice and become a better partner for when the "right one" comes along.

Negative stereotyped situations may exist, but they are not the whole picture. In an attempt to foster a false sense of "drama," the entertainment and news media almost never give a positive slant to prostitution, and for some reason, they rarely present any images at all of escort services. One reason for this may be that there is very little "drama" in an escort service. It's simply a business.

Using an escort service means that you are dealing with an agency, just like any other service agency. You don't pick up a street walker and you don't go to a whore house. Instead, you call and arrange for companionship, and a woman comes to your home or motel room and spends time with you in your space. You get the advantage of not having to go anywhere and of being in your own home where you're most comfortable -- or in your motel room if you are on a business trip or you're married and can't do it in the home. It's that simple.

These days there are a lot of independent escorts who work for themselves and advertize on the web. Some of them have there own web sites. I keep a list of some here on my site and there are plenty of others if you search google. And there are escorts that advertize in personal ads on personal ad sites. Generally they will advertize on adult person ad sites like Adult Friendfinder where they word the ad in a way that if you pay attention - they are looking for a paid relationship. I tend to recommend the larger adult matchmaking sites like Adult Friendfinder because the more women on the site the more you'll have to choose from in your area.

Calling the Escort Service

Escort services are listed in the yellow pages under Escorts, Entertainment, or Massage. That's if you are in a larger city. If you live in a small town you might want to look online if you can't find it anywhere else. You might want to call several escort services in your area to get familiar with what is being offered. Understand, though, that they might not be able to fully describe over the phone what they do because they don't want to get busted by the law. In other words, if they say they offer "full female companionship," or a "girl friend experience (gfe)" you're supposed to be sharp enough to figure out that you're going to get laid.

There are some escort services that don't offer sex as part of their product line and fail to make that clear. If you are in doubt you might want to indicate that you are interested in "full female companionship" and if the agency can't accommodate that they should let you know up front. You don't want the escort to show up and there be a miscommunication.

Typically, the escort service will tell you that there is an "agency fee" that goes to the service and then there are "tips" -- which is what you pay the pro for her services. On the phone they won't likely give you a price list of what you get for what money, but you can ask questions like, "If I have $200 on me, do you think that would cover the average tip?" This will give you a ballpark idea of what you'll be paying. I used to live in Springfield, Missouri, and around there usually a $100 tip and a $50 agency fee will get you laid. In San Francisco expect to pay between $250 - $400. Prices vary from area to area. Generally Escorts and Lawyers make the same hourly rate.

Usually the agency will describe the age, hair color, measurements, and weight of the escorts. If that's all you want to know, this may be enough description for you. But I encourage you to ask for what you want in some detail. You may be looking for a personality type, for instance, or someone with a specific ethnic background. In my case, I like women who like their work; I like them really horny -- and that's what I ask for. Some escort services won't give you that kind of information over the phone -- or the person working the phones may not know much about the personalities of the women. If you're interested in anything unusual, like anal, bondage, costumes, or whatever, you should say what you're interested in. The agency might recommend someone who specializes in your interest. You might want to call several services, so that you can find the agency that will make it their business to supply you with the experience you desire.

If you contact an independent escort online you have the advantage of getting to know her personally through email and/or online chat. This is a safer way to do it because it allows you and the escort to get to know each other first. You might get a picture and be able to interact first and know what each other likes. That way when she shows up she's not a "total stranger". And - if she knows you and what you like - she's going to be more prepared to show you a good time. So - if you want to be whipped - she'll have her cat of nine tails with her.

Many escorts are moving to online escorting because its safer for them too. There's less law enforcement online and its not real different than dating. Its safer for them because they would rather know you more than to show up and fuck whoever opens the door. Its well worth exploring the online services especially if you are new to this. If you're a cyber virgin - there's a lot of fun things you can do online that will prepare you for your sexual experience. Writing hot email is great foreplay and its easier to get very sexual while you are still anonymous.

Here's an example of how this works: I was visiting in San Jose, California, and I called a service there. They asked me what I was looking for. I said, "Well, this is California and I want the California experience. I want a woman who represents what the Beach Boys are singing about in the song, 'I wish they all could be California Girls'." The woman understood exactly what I was talking about and sent me this pretty little brunette who called herself "Mindy" -- and she was just what I wanted. Mindy was one hot little woman who really enjoyed her work and we both had a great time. Years later - even after she got out of the business I can to San Jose again and she still wanted to see me. And if I hadn't asked for what I wanted - I might not have met her. So don't be shy about letting the service know what you're looking for and don't be afraid to shop around until you get what you want.

One of the best way to find an escort is to get a friend who is into escorts to recommend and escort or an escort service.

Once you've picked your escort, give the agency phone operator good directions to your place. It's been my experience that a lot of the women who work as escorts aren't adept at following directions, so make it simple if you don't want them to get lost. You might want to tell the phone operator that you'd like to have the escort call you to get directions. That also lets you hear the woman's voice so you can decide if she sounds like someone you'd enjoy being with. Of course if they are online - they can just print off a map and find you from that.

Generally, the phone operator who takes the calls knows who's available and will page the woman you pick. The escort will return the operator's call and the agency will then call you back to confirm that she's on her way.



Sometimes the woman you've chosen is not available. Don't be surprised if the service calls you back and tells you that the one you picked didn't answer her page. You might want to mention a second choice then, or try another service. This business is imperfect, so don't expect the same reliability you get from your doctor. Independent escorts that you meet online have less problems with scheduling because they do their own scheduling. So they are more likely to show up when they are supposed to.

The best times to call escort services are from 5:00 PM till midnight. This is the hours that most of them are working and you get the best selection. Although many services are 24 hours, not that many are still working at 4:00 am and are often rather wore out by then. I like to call early in the evening because I like it "fresh".

Communicating by Email

If you meet an escort online through an online dating service such as Adult Friendfinder or I Want You then you have the advantage of getting to know them first, and them getting to know you first. This is important - especially if you are new at this - because it will make you less nervous when the time to meet in person comes. And she will be less nervous too. You have to remember that these women are women and even though they are "professionals" most women are a little nervous when meeting a new guy that they are about to be intimate with. Email becomes a form of foreplay.

Email is a very sexually exciting way to communicate and at first stay anonymous. And - as to anonymous - you probably don't want to use your real email address that you use for everything else. There are a lot of free services like Yahoo and Hotmail that will give you a free email account. Anonymous is not only safer - but its sexier. Its easire to get very sexual when no one knows who you are.

You've heard if online cyber sex - but - until you have experienced it - you have no idea how interesting it can be. I've found that you can easilly bring a woman to orgasm mearly by typing words. Its rather amazing actually. And - when a woman is anonymous - she's a whole different person. Email and chat give you the anonymous experience.

Once you start communicating online with an escort - it can be very hot for both of you. And - you get to know each other really well - sexually that is. You don't have to worry about your looks or your body language or what your voice sounds like or how you smell. Its all mental - and - you'll learn that the art of sex is mostly mental too. I describe that in more detail in my Nerd's Guide to Sex. But trust me - its all about mental imagery - and online - its all mental.

Years ago I had a friend who did radio ads for me when I owned a couple of computer stores. We used to put together the most outrageous radio spots and he told be something that I'll never forget. He said that radio was far more visual than television because you can use sound to paint any kind of mental image you want - where television was limited to what you can afford to create. Online sex is like that. I can use words and become a nine foot tall slimey space alien - grey tentacles with lots of suckers and an appatite for swuirming female flesh and women picture that and are all over me, even though in real life I'm just an aging fat nerd.

You don't have to start out as a space alien - but you can talk about your sexual fantasies and see if you can find common ground exporing the common mental imagery that perpetuate the human race. If you can establish this kind of online foreplay then by the time you get together physically - you're both ready for it. And it is something that anyone can do and its not hard to learn and it will help you understand women better. Something that is worth understanding.

Many online dating services also have live online chat. Or you can download Yahoo Messenger and go to the chat rooms and explore online interaction. Its a good way to help you start communicating verbally about sexuality. Understanding what gets women really hot is the first step to becomming an incredible lover. And escorts are looking for guys like you who are ready to learn how the game is really played.



NOTE: For escorts reading this or women who are interested in becoming escorts - I wrote an article about how to become an escort using personal ads called The Shy Girl's Guide to Becoming a Whore. This is a step by step guide for women who want to explore that aspect of their sexuality. Many women have told me that they have always wanted the experience of being a whore. This is how you can do it without having to actually take a job in the profession. Many women have written me about this and have tried it once just for the experience. Its can be something that's very empowing and creates sexual confidence.

Escort Services vs. Online Escorts

Which is better - escort service or online escorts. Well - that depends on where you live. In the bigger cities many local escort agencies have web sites so the you can see the escorts and read a little about them. The more you know the better. If you call them on the phone then you'll just get a vauge discription. But - if you live in a small town you might not have a lot of choice. Online has the advantage of "cutting out the middleman" and deal directly with the escort. And - an online escort at least has some computer skills which is somewhat of an IQ prequalifier. And - you can intereact with her to determine who is right for you.

On the other hand - many escort services has a long track record and a steady clientel and prescreen quality escorts. In this kind of situation - trust and reliability are important. Someone with a phone number in the Yellow Pages might be less likely to scam you than someone without a permantent presence. So it really depends on your location and your needs. But the shift towards online grows every year as more and more women get into this on a recreational basis.

I've written my Shy Girl's Guide to Becoming a Whore targeted at women who are not looking to be a full time escort - but are looking for an escort experience. Many women look up to hookers as sexual role models and it has become somewhat of a goal for ordinary women to fulfill their "Whore" fantasy and experience what its like to do it themselves.

Women who often have self esteam issues and low self confidence about their atractiveness to men can get a lot of reassurance about themselves when a man is willing to pay them for sex. And what kind of man do these women want to get together with to fulfill this sexual desire? Guys just like you - who are reading this article and know how to treat an escart right. You can be some woman's first time escort experience - and because you read this - you know just exactly what to do to be everything she dreamed was possible.

Preparing to Meet your Escort

Escorts are women and they like to be treated like women. They don't like being treated like low life whores. The happier you make them, the happier they make you. I have found that escorts are some of the finest and most interesting women you'll ever meet and it's a real treat to get to know them. I recommend that you prepare for your escort's arrival the same way you would for a date. After all, escorts offer more than just sex. Often you can get good conversation and personal companionship as well. And you get these other services by being as nice to them as to any other woman you date. These escorts are, after all, women and they like all the things that any other woman would like. And it's a good way to keep in practice in getting ready for other dates.

Prepare for an escort the same way you would prepare to meet a special date. Treat her like a queen and she'll treat you like a king.

So, clean up the house, make the bed, spray some scented air freshener, take a bath, brush your teeth, and trim your fingernails. Put on some music if that's what you're into, or a tasteful X-rated video that appeals to women. Candle light is a nice touch. You want to create a romantic environment so that she knows you're a gentleman and a sophisticated lover. Even though she's a pro, all women like to be romanced. And if she's having a good time, you're going to have a good time.

Make sure you turn the porch light on so that she can find the house. You don't want her to waste a lot of time locating the place. Be sure to put your valuables away. Don't leave your wallet out on the table, because there's no point in putting a stranger in a situation that tests her honesty. But do have the fee and the tip out and laying on the table when she arrives.

If the escort is more than half an hour late, call the agency to check on her status. They might say that she's on her way and tell you when she will get there, but sometimes they will have to page her again. Many times agencies promise that the escort will arrive at a time that isn't realistic. Sometimes the escort just doesn't call in and they have to get someone else. I get really frustrated when an agency fails to deliver, but sometimes you have to stay on them to get someone to actually show up. You might have to try several services before you find one that is consistently reliable.

The Escort Arrives

When the escort arrives, treat her like a blind date. Tell her she looks nice. Smile, be friendly. Invite her in. I generally keep a variety of refreshments to offer her, like wine, soft drinks, fruit juice. If you smoke you can let her know she can smoke. If you don't, then let her know she can't.

If this is your first time with her, she will probably go into a script. She needs to know you're not a cop or a violent weirdo or someone who's going to be trouble. She also needs to let you know that she's expecting you to pay up front, but she can't ask you to give her money for sex, because that would be prostitution, and that's not what she does.

Generally the woman will start out asking something neutral like, "Have you used the service before?" She trying to determine what you know and what she's going to have to tell you about. If you've used other services before then let her know that so she knows that you understand the rules.

If you don't know what to do and it's your first time, just say so. That way she can give you the information you need. If you're embarrassed or nervous, let her know it's your first time and that you feel a little awkward. This helps her to help you relax, talk a little more, and allow you to get comfortable. Everyone has a first time for calling an escort service and part of the escort's job is to let you know how to do it.

She will then explain the rules about the agency fee and the tips, tell you that you are expected to pay up front and what the time limits are. She will explain that there are different tips for different services. Eventually she will ask you, "What do you want to do?" When she asks you this, you are expected to tell her what you want. This is usually an awkward moment if it's your first time. What you want to get across is whether you want to get laid, just want head, or both. And you can just say it if you want, and that's fine. These women aren't shy and you can be comfortable talking to them about your sexual interests. That is what they are there for and they aren't bashful.

It's just my personality, but I like to start with some humor to break the ice. I may ask, "How much would you charge to have my baby?" This usually gets them laughing -- and some find it erotic. They'll usually say something like, "I don't do that," or, "You couldn't afford it," to which I might reply, "Well, then, how much for an attempt?" This is a good way to lighten up the mood.

Many women are escorts because they like their job. The more comfortable they feel around you, the more they can enjoy their work.

As I said before, I personally like women who like their work. I like women to enjoy having sex with me. If that's what you want, then you think like I do. They are trying to give you the pleasures you want, so the more accurately you communicate with them, the easier it is for them to satisfy you as a customer. And like any business women, these women enjoy working with their better clients.



After you let her know what you want it's time to give her the money. She'll let you know what she expects and how to pay her. The best way is to lay it on a table and have her pick it up rather than handing it to her. It's a legal thing: You're not really giving her thee money for sex. You're paying her for her time and tipping her because she is a beautiful and attractive woman. And this beautiful woman finds you irresistible as well and you are so attractive that even though she shouldn't, she just can't control her desires and can't resist having sex with you. You get the picture ...

After she's been paid, she will usually have to call the agency and let them know she has arrived, been paid, and that everything is fine so they can start the clock running. (When your time is up, the agency will call you back if she hasn't called in first.) After she gets off the phone, she's all yours.

This is the time to start getting relaxed with the escort, time for a little small talk. She may ask what you do; you might ask how long she's been working in this field and what she likes. If you're having personal problems, you might want to talk to her about them. I find it's easier to talk to an escort than a psychologist and the advice is just as good. Escorts are an anonymous person, who is a woman, and you can ask her anything about women that you would be afraid to ask other women you know. Most escorts love to answer these questions and they are glad to fill you in on the secrets that hardly any guys know about what women really want. In fact, although most men think they know women, they really don't. According to many escorts I've talked to, the average guy doesn't have a clue about what women want. If you ask a few questions you might find that you can learn a lot of things you didn't know.

Don't Get Ripped Off

I have never been ripped off - but I have had people write me who have been scammed. As with anything - you need to be street smart. You want to be careful in selecting an escort that the person you are dealing with will act in a professional manner.

Generally you pay up front shortly after meeting - although there are escorts who ask for the money afterwards. But - she should not get the money and then need to leave the room to get something. One thing that can happen is that she gets paid - then says she forgot the condoms in her car - and then drives away. This can happen to you and there's not a lot you can do about it - but you should ask her to leave the money if she needs to go out of the room.

Doing the Deed

At some point she will ask you if you want to "get comfortable." This means "are you ready to have sex?" Your job now is to lead her to the bedroom and get naked. To protect herself legally, she will wait until the client is naked before she undresses. I suppose the legal idea here is that you've paid for a massage, but when she sees your irresistible naked body, she can no longer control herself and has to fuck you.

Relax and enjoy it. She a pro and you're the client. This isn't a woman you have to impress. She's been with a lot of other men who are a lot better looking than you, and a lot worse looking than you. As far as comparing yourself to other clients, if you are clean, sober, and nice to her, and made her laugh, you're already in the top 10% of all clients and you're doing just fine.

If you're nervous, you might start out with a back rub to get used to touching each other. Take your time. If this is your first time and you're uncomfortable, you might want to agree up front that you may need extra time and work out an extra tip and agency fee so that you can take longer if necessary. That way you don't have to rush things.

During foreplay, touch her softly like you would do with any other lover. Be romantic. Even though she is a pro, she is also a woman and her body responds like any woman's. If you know what you're doing, she is going to have a very good time too. Women enjoy sex and if the situations is right, they like to get their rocks off, just like you.

You want to be sensitive to what she wants. Some women don't like you to put your finger in them. Others just love it. If she says don't do something, don't do it. Most escorts don't do anal sex, so if that's what you want, you should say so when you call and get an escort that will do it. Also, kissing on the mouth is generally a no-no, so don't even try without asking first.

A condom is required. Don't ask if you can skip it because VD is real and the woman doesn't want to get it, or give it to you. However, many women don't buy the best condoms, so if you have a brand you like, buy your own and offer to use your condoms. It will save her from having to use one of hers. It will also avoid an awkward delay if she forgets to bring one and would otherwise have to leave and run to the store to get one. This actually happens more often than it should.

I always keep a tube of KY Jelly by the bed. Lubrication is good. She may be wet enough already, but often she won't be. There are several reasons that a woman may not get wet, even when she's hot. These include where she is in her monthly cycle, if she's just douched, her mood, how many other guys she's done today, if her rent's paid, or what medication she's on (nasal decongestants will dry up more than her nose). So after putting the condom on, grease it up good.

Being clean is a big turn on for escorts. Women like guys when they just got out of the shower. All women like candle light. Escorts are no exception.

Although the escort is supposed to bring these supplies it's a good idea that you have your own. I've had several escorts show up and forget to bring things so don't count on them having their act together. Besides, you may prefer a better brand of condom than they have. I personally like Lifestyle Ultra Thin Lubricated condoms. I don't get the ones with Nonoxidol 9 because I've had several escorts mention they have a bad reaction to it. I also keep a supply of tampons and douche. Also have clean washcloths and towels in the bathroom so you both can clean up afterwards.

Having Good Sex

Okay, here are some tips on how to do it right. If you want all the details about how to do it right you're going to have to Read my Book. People think that great lovers do great things that the average person could never do. That's not the way it really is. The way it really is is that a lot of guys do things wrong and a lot of what makes a great lover is not doing things wrong. So what I'm going to do here is give you the basics and tell you how to learn more for yourself.

Three billion years ago life formed on this planet. At some point similar organisms started exchanging their DNA and sexual reproduction was started. In the early warm volcanic seas that covered the earth, some proto-organism fucked another proto-organism and life has been fucking ever since.

We are the descendants of three billion years of things fucking each other. Every form of life, from man down to plant life, wants to fuck something and exchange DNA. And we are the descendants of those who fucked, not of those who controlled themselves. There's nothing wrong with fucking and there's nothing wrong with fucking a total stranger. You have a dick and it's there for one reason only, and that's to fuck with. She has a cunt and its purpose is to get fucked. That what it does. The process is to put your dick in her and deliver your semen so as to get her pregnant. That's the instinct you are born with and she's born with. Obviously, you don't really want to get her pregnant. But your body wants to feel like you're getting her pregnant, and her body wants to feel like she's getting pregnant.

I have found that sex is best when you get down to the instinctive level. As much as we pride ourselves on being superior beings, we are just like all other life on earth and our animal instincts cause us to have to fuck. That's why you're paying an escort for her services -- because your body needs it. And that's Okay. That's the way it is. I didn't make the rules.

True love is just one style of having sex. There are many other styles. Just because you're not in love doesn't mean it's not personal and intimate.

When you get horny, you masturbate. That's part of the instinctual system that keeps you ready to fuck. You have to stay in shape so that when you get the opportunity to share your genetic material, you're ready. This has nothing to do with love or religion or other mystical powers. You're a man. You have a dick. You want to fuck. End of story.

Women are like that too. They have a cunt. It's there to receive a dick. Women need men to fuck them. They want to feel you get off inside them. They want to feel you pump your stuff into them and they want to contract their cunt around you when you do. They need it. They are women, that's what women do. Escorts are women too and have the same instincts as other women, often more.

A woman has a greater part of her body dedicated to having babies than a man does. She has a cunt that receives the dick, but she also has a uterus to carry fetuses and breasts for feeding babies. These organs are actively working in preparation for use. She has a period every month, giving her the opportunity to get pregnant. This is her instinct; she has to do it.

Women instinctively like sex and want to have orgasms. All you have to do is allow her instincts to do the job.

Women get horny like men do. They masturbate like we do. It keeps them hot and ready to get laid when the time comes. When a woman has sex, she wants to come. Pros have sex for money and often they don't want to come, but they are women and if you do it right, the instinct will take over.

Foreplay is mental as well as physical. Besides getting her ready physically, she also has to be ready mentally. And it's not just a matter of arousal. Must of foreplay involves developing trust. Women are more vulnerable during sex than men are. They are physically weaker than men, generally weigh less, and they are the one being penetrated. Women need to feel safe. So when you are touching women your touch should communicate to them that they are safe and that they can feel secure in enjoying themselves. In fact, generally the only limit to how much a woman can enjoy herself is how comfortable and safe she feels in how far she can let go. So a few candles, soft touches, and the right grin tell her she can drop her barriers and enjoy herself as much as she wants.

Much of sex is physical. You have your sex organ, she has hers. When you rub your dick right, you jack off and you come. When she rubs her cunt right, she jacks off and she comes. But if you rub it wrong, it doesn't work. One of the secrets is getting it right physically.

That's why you want to use lubrication. Scraping your dick against dry cunt flesh hurts both of you. When you grease it up, it slides in better and feels good to both of you. Get out the KY and grease it up. If it gets dry again, which sometimes happens even during good sex, pull it out and grease it up again.

Always make sure there is sufficient lubrication.

Next you have to get the angle right so that you're in her and she's comfortable. What I do is work it in slow, holding my body above her and letting her guide it in. I basically push forward gently and let her work it down in. This lets her get it in herself comfortably and at her own speed, so she will not hurt herself. If you cause her pain, she isn't going to come because pain isn't sexually stimulating. One of the so-called "secrets" of the great lovers is simply to not cause the woman to experience pain.

After it's in, then you give her room to adjust the angle of penetration. That way she can get her cunt around your cock and press your pubic bone up against her clit in a way that feels good to her. All you have to do is give her the room and the time to adjust herself. Generally, even a pro who may have had no intention of having an orgasm with you will instinctively put you in the position that feels best to her.

Pain is a distraction from sexual enjoyment. Make sure you're not crushing her or cutting off blood flow do to awkward positions. Give her room to position herself correctly so that she's comfortable.

You also want to be careful that you aren't accidentally hurting her. If you're lying on top of her, shift some of your weight to your knees or elbows and make sure you're not crushing her and she can breathe. This is more important for you big guys on small girls. Also try to make sure you're not cutting off blood flow to her arms or legs. You always want to watch and give her room to move to where she's comfortable.

Making love is a lot like petting a cat. The cat lets you know what it wants. Women are just like that. Once you're in and adjusted, she'll start screwing you because she's getting horny and someone has to start. And once she starts fucking you, all you have to do is respond to her bodily cues and she'll come and think you're the greatest lover in the world. And you didn't really do anything but allow her to jack herself off.

See, that's the big secret. Women will make themselves come. You don't have to do it to them; they already know how. Just give them the chance to do it to themselves. It's their instinct and unless they actively fight it, they have to do it. And most of the time they can't fight it. They are, after all, the descendants of three billion years of successful fucking. They can hardly ruin a tradition like that.

The easiest way to learn how to do it right is to have the escort get on top. That gives her the most control over the motion. You lay face up with a pillow under your butt, raising your pelvis a little higher than usual and allowing you to get in a little deeper. She gets on top of you and slides herself down on you. You smile and tell her how pretty she looks, lightly stroking her breasts and her nipples as she puts you into her. Then she works you all the way in at the angle she likes.

Women will give you clues as to what they want next. All you have to do is watch for the clues.

At this point you do nothing. Don't start fucking her; let her fuck you. Move only a little to match her movements but let her do the fucking. You just lay back and watch and touch her legs and breasts, her ass, her arms, kissing her softly on the arms. And just watch as she jacks herself off on top of you. She'll think you're an incredible lover, and you've done nothing but lay there and learn. And what you'll have learned is that even though you did almost nothing, you did nothing wrong. And you'll learn how women work and what they didn't teach you in school.

Even if the sex isn't all that great the first time, remember, it is, after all, your first time -- and like anything it will get better with practice. Your escort has been with a lot of men worse than you. She has done angry drunks who can't come and don't want to pay. She has done weirdoes who've threatened to hurt her. So if you are clean and polite, she's happy and she will look forward to seeing you again. You don't have to impress her with your manhood. Take the opportunity to learn -- and the education is worth the price. And chances are, she will enjoy teaching you.

Afterwards...

After it's over, it's time to clean up and say good night. It's nice to have a towel next to the bed to wipe up. If you really want to impress a pro, have a pan of warm water with a warm wash cloth by the bed. After sex, reach down and get it, ring it out, and hand it to her. Nothing feels better than a nice warm wash cloth. Otherwise, have some wash cloths in your bathroom for her to clean up. I keep an open box of tampons on the sink for guests to use. Just having these basic supplies available will impress most escorts. It doesn't take much to be a considerate client.

After she cleans up, she will need to call the agency and let them know she is done and is okay. Once she's made the call, you say goodbye and tell her that you had a nice time. If she likes you, you'll get a hug and maybe a kiss. Look around and make sure she has everything. Some women are bad about forgetting things like their pagers or articles of clothing. If she's had a good time she's more likely to leave things behind.

Becoming a "Regular"

If you find an escort you like and you see her many times, the sex usually gets better. You get to know each other better and know what each other likes. Like any relationship, the more time you spend together the better you get at it.

After a few sessions with the same person you become what is called a "regular". Escorts prefer to see regulars because they know what to expect, know your not a cop, and know you're not a trouble maker. One way you can tell if your escort considers you a regular is when you pay. If she let's you pay afterwards, you're a regular.

Relationships with escorts can last for decades and a regular relationship can be fulfilling on many levels other than just sex.

Becoming a regular is like having a surrogate relationship. It's not the same as being married and living happily ever after. However, it's a lot better than being alone. There are a lot of people in the world that traditional marriage isn't something that's going to work. The idea that "there's someone for everyone" is a myth. If you find that someone and you have a golden anniversary, that's just great. But for most of us, that just isn't going to happen. And you can make yourself miserable waiting for it.

I personally like having several limited but yet still very personal relationships with several women. I have a lot of women friends and a variety of lovers and it works for me. It make not be ideal, by we don't live in an ideal world. I think I'm doing as well as I can under the circumstances. I'm happy with it and it works for me.

Since women move from service to service and in and out of the business I like to develop a regular relationship with several escorts. This way if your favorite is on the rag, in a bad mood, out of town, or quits, you have other choices to fall back on. Sometimes your just in the mood for someone different. If I find an escort I really like I generally give her my card and tell her if she changes employers to call me and let me know who she's working for. I've also had women who got out of the business but still keep me as their only client. And part of the reason for that is that I gave them my phone number.

If at first you don't succeed...

Try, try again. Sometimes your first experience with a service isn't what you expected. You may have been emotionally too upset. You may have picked a woman who wasn't your type. You may not have known exactly what you wanted. Maybe you couldn't come. That's not unusual, especially the first time. It takes a while for some people to learn how to have sex with a total stranger. A certain part of sex is learned behavior and sometimes you have to try a few times to get it right. But once you get into it you'll find it's well worth it and you'll be able to do things you never dreamed.

Political Issues

Prostitution is illegal in most states. There are a number of reason for this. You have your Christian types who oppose it for "moral" reasons. These people feel it's their right to stamp out all activity that they consider to be "sin". Little do they realize that a government that is empowered to regulate sex is empowered to regulate religion. Thus Christians are cutting their own political throats but aren't sharp enough to realize it.

Then you have a much more serious group, the sex-neg feminists who believe that prostitution is the ultimate form of female oppression by male dominated society. Again, these women can't get past the images they see on television and have no concept of what sex work is. A man who gives a woman money for a relationship, which often includes sex no more dominates her than a man who pays a mechanic to fix his car. When I take my car in to get it fixed I don't feel like I have power over the mechanic because I'm giving him money. He has power over me because I need my car fixed.

There are lots of prudes from Christians to Feminists who want the government to intrude into your private sex life in order to convince themselves they are morally superior. Support those who openly resist government controlled sex.

Lastly, wives fear whores because they are "competition". If your husband is unfaithful, you need to fix your relationship and deal with why he wants to be unfaithful. Whores don't cause the problem. I would point out that if your husband is being unfaithful that he is better off doing it with an escort than his secretary or someone who is actually competition. So I say to the wives who are reading this, male midlife crisis is real. It's usually temporary. It's something you can work through. And it's no reason to get divorced or break up your family. If you catch your husband with an escort, talk to him, work it out, and don't break up your family over it. There's no point in giving everything you own to a couple of greedy lawyers over a sexual indiscretion that is fixable.

Divorce laws in the United States are very hostile towards marriage and families. As long as we allow our courts to be used by crooked lawyers as tools to steal everything you have, the use of escort services will continue to rise.

The courts in the United States and other countries are very hostile towards the traditional family. There are too many people making too much money by destroying the lives of you and your children. Once a person has been through a nasty divorce they are far less likely to risk getting into a traditional relationship a second time. We allow lawyers to profit too much at the expense of the public and the government has become a predator allowing crooked lawyers to flourish at the expense of the family and the people who the courts are supposed to serve. If there is a moral issue surrounding escort services, it's that the penalty for being a good father and a good husband is much more severe than being caught with a hooker. When so called "proper behavior" is punished, people will stop behaving properly.

Legal Issues

I've been asked how to avoid cops. First of all, I believe that escort services are not sex for money. You're buying a relationship for money and it often includes sex. I've written a Legal Brief on the subject. The difference between escorts and cops is that an escort will avoid any conversation that the transaction is sex for money. A cop will try to get you to say that you are having sex for money. If the escort is using the words "sex for money" she is either very stupid, or she's a cop. If she is avoiding the words "sex for money" or any other similar agreements then she's probably OK.

Never say the words "sex for money" or make that agreement verbally. You are not buying sex for money. It's a surrogate relationship that my include sexual contact.

She should also be paranoid that you are a cop. Most of the time there is a setup it's the client who's the cop trying to bust the escort. So you don't want to talk about "sex for money" either. She has more reason to be paranoid about you being a cop. Don't be insulted by this.

Cops would better serve the public if they focused on real crime like murders, bank robbers, and rapists, and leave consenting adults alone.

One common misconception about being busted is that you don't actually have to have sex for money to get busted. All you have to do is to agree to have sex for money. So either of you can get busted even if no sex or money changes hands. They do need to get it on tape though. So never say those words and she should never say those words. I think saying that you are experiencing "love at first sight" followed by a big grin is a good way to break the ice. You might ask her if she's experiencing love at first sight. A conversation like that would never occur if there were a cop involved because it wouldn't be very convincing in front of a jury. So if you can say things that cops wouldn't want on tape it tends to show her you're not a cop.

Working on a Book

I'm working on a book and looking for ideas. It's a book that is going to be a "how to" book for men. I've been with a lot of whores and over the years I've got a lot of complements about my understanding of women sexually. I didn't think of myself as that great of a lover but what I've discovered is that the average male knows nothing about how to have sex right. At least that's what I'm told by the women I've been with.

After doing a lot of interviews of these women on the subject about what I'm doing different than most men I've figured out quite a few things that work and quite a few things that don't work. I am now starting this book that is targeted at making the average guy a lot better in bed. The goal is to explain things in such a way that the average guy can read it, understand it, do it, and see results. When this book is reviewed I want the reviewer to say, "I tried it and it works."

People sometimes ask me, "OK Perkel, what makes you a sex expert?" Part of it is experience and part because I'm a nerd. I ask a lot of questions and I study and observe. As I write this book, all the concepts will be reviewed by several women, some of which are "experts" in their field. I have the ability to write clearly and explain things in detail. I am a middle age overweight nerd. If I can be an impressive lover, you can too. And the only difference between me and you is that I know how to and you're about to learn it.

This article is copyrighted material. You can link to it and you can put a frame around it, but you can't copy it. Copyright 1997-2005 by Marc Perkel - All Rights Reserved

This book will be marketed electronically on my web site. I will put a link here when it's ready. I'm thinking about charging $15 for access to the section where the book will be available. In the registration process you will be given a name and password which will allow you to access the book. The book will be attached to an interactive conferencing system that will allow readers of the book to interact with each other and the author. This will add a new dimension to your reading.

In addition, since the book is an electronic publication, I'm not constrained to "finishing" the book. I will be able to add to it all the time so the information will be dynamic rather than static like what you buy in a bookstore.

If anyone has any ideas or suggestions feel free to email me. The more I'm encouraged the quicker I will get around to writing the book.

I plan to open the book up for sale as I'm working on it so those who get in early can read the book as it is written.

The book is now online. I posted version 2 of the Nerd's Guide to Sex. More than twice as much information as the original.

Using this Web Page

I give permission and encourage the distribution of the information contained in this page. You can reprint it if you are an escort service and pass it out to your clients. Give a copy to every new client on the first visit. Or you can pass it out in bars with your phone number on it so that you clients will have a handbook on how to do it right. This way clients will know more about how to use these services and will be better clients. They will have a better time and the escort will have a better time and use your services more often.

However, if you're an escort service and pass this out you have to let me know and if I'm ever in your town, I get one escort free. If I never show up it costs you nothing. But if I show up, that's my price. One on the house.

This information can be used in your articles about escort services and prostitution as long as you credit the source.


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