What Women Want

This book contains material of an adult sexual nature.

What's Under the Hood

To understand sex you have to understand women. Not that anyone can really do that, but there are things about women that you need to know in order to fully appreciate them. It's just like driving a car. If you understand the car you'll be a better driver than if you don't understand it. I'm not going to pretend I understand women, but I do understand some things about women that make the sex better. A lot of what I say here may sound obvious and it may be things you already know. If so then skip this chapter. But I include this to help create "the big picture" because this all fits together. So, please bear with me.

Much of what women want is the same things men want. We all want to be happy, have friends, be loved, feel like we have a place in the world. We want a good job, something we like to do, make some money, enough to be comfortable. We want a home to live in. We want to be safe. We want to eat good food. We want to be healthy. We want a good computer and a high speed connection to the internet. We want a car that doesn't break down. To be entertained. And to live long and prosper. And we all want to get laid and have good sex.

Women are just like us in these respects. It is important to realize that they are people to with the same needs and desires as you have. And with any woman, wife or sex worker, they are people and want to be treated with respect. In other words, be nice to them, and hopefully they will be nice to you.

In many ways women are sexually the same as men and in many ways they are different. Like us their brains are programmed from birth to fuck. Like us it really isn't optional. We have to fuck, they have to fuck. We really don't have that much choice although we like to think we do. It's all part of the reproductive instincts.

Women are a lot closer to the reproductive instincts than we men are. Our genetic function is sperm donor. Biologically we are here to provide semen. Our bodies reproductive organs are limited to the penis and hormone systems that make us want to fuck women. Women on the other hand actually have the babies. Their bodies contain many more organs to support reproduction and their brains are wired differently to support their reproductive role. In many ways their needs are very different than that of men.

On a purely reproductive level, the goal of the male is to inseminate as many women as possible in order to spread his genetic material. Women need only one male, but need a good male. A male that will help her raise her children to reproductive age so that they can fuck and have children. Thus a woman is more interested in the relationship and holding the family together. Although sometimes women will choose one man to be the genetic donor and another to be the father figure. But the details of how a woman's mind works with respect to choosing mates is way beyond my understanding. But it's useful to understand that these are issues that are on their mind.

Like men, women want good sex. They are sexually driven the way we men are. Sometimes a lot more than we can imagine. Like us, women masturbate. They get horny and they have to jack off. Although there is a lot of variation in women's sexual desires, in general, women are very sexual creatures and they want to get fucked.

When a woman has sex with you she wants to come. She is capable of masturbating and giving herself an orgasm. You don't have to make her come, she can do that by herself. All you have to do is let her come. Generally, if you don't mess things up, it's rather easy to get a woman to come. All you have to do is let it happen.

Great lovers are great because of what they do right as much as what they don't do wrong.

One of the big myths in sex is that there's some magic technique that drives women wild. And that if you learn this technique you will be a great lover. That's not how it is. What generally happens is that men make a lot of mistakes that detract from the sex to the point where she can enjoy herself because you are doing a lot of things wrong. And that the biggest place where men can improve themselves sexually is to stop doing the things that detract from the sex. There are lots of things that distract from the sex and make it not work. A lot of it has to do with timing. Waiting till she's ready for it. Other things have to do with being comfortable. The bed feeling right. Getting into the right position. Getting in at the right angle. Maybe your pinching her or cutting off the circulation to a leg. Having enough lubrication. How you smell. The room temperature. All these things can be distractions and if she's not ready and these problems are taking away from the sex then she might have wanted to come, but she can't because things aren't right and she can't focus on the sex.

There may be psychological barriers. Maybe you just had a fight and she's thinking about that. Maybe you're moving to quickly and to rough. Maybe she doesn't feel entirely safe with you in that she doesn't feel comfortable being as sexually open with you as she would like to be. Women want screaming mad sexual ecstasy, but not with someone who might not be able to handle it. And if she feels she has to hold back then she isn't going to have as good a time with you as she would like to have.

But it's important to understand that she want it. She want's you to drive her wild. And if you don't mess it up it's going to happen. But most guys mess it up because they don't understand a lot of basic things that are easy to learn. Things they never taught you. Things that seem obvious when you hear them. And all you have to do is learn and learn how to learn on your own. All women are different so you have to learn what your sex partner wants. So part of learning how to fuck is learning how to learn what the woman you are with wants to teach you. Some women will just tell you what they want, but most won't, unless you invite them to.

Giving a woman what she wants sexually is a lot like taking her out to eat at a restaurant. The waitress comes and asks what you want. Suppose you order for her; you're just guessing what she likes. You might order what you like and hope she likes the same thing. But just because you like broccoli doesn't mean she'll like broccoli. If you order for her you might get lucky and you might not.

However, if you ask her what she wants and she tells you, then when you order for her she'll be getting what she wants to eat, and she'll be a lot more likely to enjoy the meal. In other words, you become much better at ordering dinner for her because you know what she likes. After many dates you know what places she like to go to and what she wants and you have no problem pleasing her. And she thinks you're a great date because she tells you what she wants and you give it to her. Sex is just the same way.

Male vs. Female Orgasms

One big difference between men and women is the orgasm. One interesting fact is that humans are the only primate where the female even has an orgasm. Males in all primate species always have orgasms, and there's a reason for this that a lot of women might not want to hear. The reason that men are more reliable in having orgasms is that it is necessary for reproduction to occur for the male to come, but not necessary for the female. A woman can get pregnant if she comes or not, but if the male doesn't come then no children are going to result.

It is my theory, from the evolutionary point of view that orgasmically defective males throughout history failed to pass on their geans as compared to fully functional males. Therefore, we are the decendants of the males who could come, not the ones who can't.

Women on the other hand can reproduce without orgasm. The orgasm does help women retain sperm and it does stimulate the man to produce more sperm. So hotter women are favored by evolution over women who aren't as hot. But because the orgasm isn't necessary, more women have trouble coming than men do.

Women have the advantage that they can usually come more times than men can although this isn't always the case. Some women can come 30 time in a row at one minute intervals. Others have one good orgasm and that's it. Some just don't come at all. It isn't a reflection necessarily of how good a lover you are but that's just the way they are. And it also varies with their age, stress factors, if they've had children, if they're on medication or hormonal based birth control. And you find out about these things by talking to your partner and asking her about herself.

Women are more complex sexually than men. Men are rather simple. You have a dick, you want to fuck. You rub the dick and it comes. Not real complex. When it comes down to it we are really only good for one thing. However, I'm good at opening jars too so I guess that doesn't apply to me.

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Next: Understanding the Basics
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