This book contains material of an adult sexual nature. |
Sex has been shrouded in mystery. What is it? Is it sacred or is it sin? Should we do it or shouldn't we? Who should we do it with? Should we do it with just one person? Why do we enjoy it? How can we enjoy it more? How is sex related to love? Is it wrong or is it right? How can something so necessary be wrong? How can something so undignified be so right?
Animals don't have these problems with sex because they don't have the ability to ask questions. Animals just have sex. They have no choice. It's instinct. It's what they do. It's what they have been doing for the last three billion years. But what about people? We're not mere animals are we? Are we not somehow higher than the animals? Are we not somehow above mere fucking? Surely there are some differences between us and the beasts isn't there?
To best understand sex we have to put aside our mythical and religous views and get down to the fundamentals. Once we know what sex is and why we do it, we can better understand how to do it right. I am now going to have that little talk with you about "the birds and the bees" in a way you might not have heard it before.
|
We are male and female. Our bodies are designed for sex. A woman has a vagina for a single reason; to receive a cock and cause him to ejaculate in her so she will receive his genetic material, become pregnant, and have a baby. Our bodies are designed to accomplish this and that is the biological goal behind sex.
You might now be thinking, "Come on Marc! I don't have sex because I want babies. I have sex for fun." Yes, that's true. In fact sex is so much fun that you can't help but to have it. If sex weren't so much fun we wouldn't be doing it and if we didn't do it humans wouldn't be around very long. Sex is fun because if sex weren't fun, we wouldn't be here.
Where I'm going with this reproductive talk is that if sex being fun is necessary for human life to continue, then it's logical to assume that the more you understand the reproductive process the more you'll understand how to have better sex. Since sexual pleasure is the driving force behind reproduction, it would seem that activities that allow the body to think it's reproducing would create the most sexual pleasure.
For example, years ago I was with a hooker named Honey. One day I asked her, "How would you like to do something kinky?" "What?", she asked. "Well, I wouldn't want to embarrass you.", I said with a big grin on my face. Honey started pounding on my chest grinning and said, "Tell me. Tell Me." So I said, "Let's pretend we're a married couple in love and we just decided to have children ..." She loved it! Damn that was hot! Not the kind of fantasy that most men have with sex workers but what it taught me was that getting down to the fundamentals of sex allowed me and Honey to experience a higher level of sexual pleasure. Although you don't have to have the "I'm going to get you pregnant" fantasy to be a great lover, I do think that knowing that her instinct to get pregnant is the biological bases of her sexual desires and the more you can harmonize with those instincts the more sexual pleasure she's going to experience.
It is my view that good sex comes in part from an understanding of the basic biology, physiology, and psychology of human reproduction. Knowing how men and women think, what their needs are, what their sex organs want, how their minds are programmed, and how the body parts physically work are the important basics to becoming a great lover. Once you know the rules you can then learn how to play the game.
Sex and Love
There's a complex relationship between sex and love. Sex and love are not the same thing. The older I get the more I realize that sex and love are very separate things.
Sex is almost purely biological. Masturbation, for example, has nothing to do with love. We are sexually attracted to people based on how they look to us. Sometimes it's the smell that does it. Some little thing that gets our attention and makes us want to share some genetic material with that other person.
Love, on the other hand, is caring about the other person. About who they are and how they are doing. One can be in love without any sexual contact. Which is how it usually turns out for guys like me. Love is about dreams, poetry, romance, and building lives together. Sex is about getting your rocks off.
Many people believe that sex is best when there's love. Some people think that it isn't right to have sex without love. Or some think that sex without love is empty. I don't agree. I think that sex and love are independent and romantic sex is just one of many styles of fucking. Not to put down either sex or love, but the assumption that one is necessary for the other is a mistake.
In fact, I think that sometimes love interferes with good sex the same way that love interferes with honest communication. Because you love the person you're afraid to get really sexual because they might find out what a sex pervert you really are and not like you anymore. Love raises the stakes and makes people want to play it safe sexually and not risk getting adventurous. Love can lead to inhibition.
|
In order to get past your inhibitions you have to develop sexual trust with each other. You have to realize that your lady is a complex person. Sometimes she's the sweet little innocent flower you fell in love with, while at the same time she's like a cat in heat. Mentally you have to be able to accept and appreciate her as a sexual being, that as a human that is part of her nature. And you have to want to let her express that part of herself. If she isn't safe and comfortable with you, she'll never share with you what she's sexually capable of. Not that she doesn't want to, but she can't. You have to be able to allow her to be as sexual as she wants to be. And that takes some mental training.
Sex with Strangers
In spite of what we are taught, I find it easier to have great sex with a total stranger than with someone I know. The reason is that with a stranger, you don't have all the other issues involved that distract one from the sex. You have have pure undistracted uninhibited sex without having to worry about complex emotional issues or how it's going to change the relationship. The sex is just sex, pure sex.
When I was 20 I used to do a lot of hitchhiking. I spent months on the road sleeping under overpasses and traveling for adventure. When someone picked me up I was a total stranger. Someone who they would never see again. And because I was a stranger and they were never going to see me again, they could talk to me about things in their lives that they would never tell anyone else in the world. People would tell me things they have never told anyone in their life.
"Now Marc!", you may ask, "Why are they telling you all their deep dark secrets?" Well, I'm glad you asked this all important question. One reason is that I am a total stranger and it doesn't matter. I had no history with them and there were no other issues between us to distract from a totally honest conversation. They other thing is that I know how to allow people to feel comfortable around me. I'm a very accepting person who is truely interested in other people. And I'm very accepting of a wide variety of people. I think other people sense this in me and they know that I'm safe, that no matter what they tell me, I'm not going to use it against them. Thus people are open with me.
Strangers are like hitchhikers. You have no history with them and if you and they both have good social skills, and you're the kind of person that can allow a stranger to be sexually comfortable with you, you can get more sexually intimate quicker with a stranger than someone you love. Sex with strangers is good sexual practice and if your single it's a good way to sharpen your skills. That way when your one true love comes into your life you'll be better at pleasing her sexually that if you're inexperienced.
Moral and Legal Issues
There's a lot of debate in the country about sex and morality. Is sex moral? Of course it is. Every one of us (except a sheep named dolly) was created as a result of an act of sex. If sex is immoral then life itself is immoral. My opinion in general is that two (or more) consenting adults should be able to do anything they want free of government or religious intrusion. I for on don't need to ask Uncle Nanny for permission to get laid.
If you believe that my sexual activity isn't moral, then go ahead and believe it. I suppose after all that I will fry in hell. That's my choice and it's up to me to make that choice. I think religion is a form of mental disorder, but you have the right to believe whatever you want regardless of how stupid I think it is.
Prostitution is illegal. So if someone asks if you've been with a sex worker, remember what Nancy Reagan says; Just say no. Prostitutes are some of the finest women I know and I'm lucky to have had the pleasure of their company.
I believe in honesty in a relationship. I was monogamous while I was married. I think that open marriages are fine. In my case we agreed to be monogamous and to me it was important from the aspect of being honest and keeping ones word to do what I promised. If you're going to have a relationship based on trust then it's best to do what you promised.
|
